- You can pick one up in most garden centres; it will always come home with you.
- It will stay with you for many years, even a lifetime.
- If you get bored with it, you can throw it out without repercussions.
- You can sell it for more than you spent on it.
- You can swap it for a different one.
- It doesn't get jealous or sulk if you get another one.
- It never goes through your phone / diary / pockets looking for evidence that you have another.
- A succulent plant often becomes more desirable with age.
- It never complains if you are out late.
- It doesn't even remember its own birthday.
- It doesn't expect you to buy it flowers. In fact it provides its own.
- It doesn't care what sort of car you drive.
- It doesn't make a silly fuss if your shirt has a button missing.
- It doesn't run up a massive credit card bill buying shoes.
- It doesn't expect you to buy it fancy drinks. A little rain water is just fine.
- It never complains if you have another beer.
- It never criticises your waistline.
- It never makes any noise.
- It always shares your taste in music.
- It will not give you a nasty / embarrassing disease.
- If it dies, there will be no awkward questions from the police.
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